I’ve been kidnapped by aliens dressed as cops.
They moved me from their prison to a simulated hospital.
I can leave any time, but they won’t let me.
If I don’t escape, they’ll keep me here forever.
If I use the telephone, the phone company will sell my innermost secrets to the government.
If I take the medicine they give me, my brain will be replaced with cotton.
So yeah. I’m crazy.
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